Generosity in Work Relationships: Learn to Pay it Sideways
- Victoria Hogg
- Jan 24
- 3 min read
Something we received
Sometimes there’s an unknowable kismet - a synergy; a sense of destiny - to a day, which transcends bog-standard existence, as Vic discovered two days ago.
On a morning walk with a route firmly in mind, I saw a grotty tennis ball in the road and, ahead of it, a dog and its owner. Catapaulted into Good Samaritan Mode, I picked it up (disgusting) and tried to catch them up (sidenote: why is everyone fitter than me?).
Because these two were just living their lives, oblivious, I was taken in a totally different direction to my route, meaning when I finally made contact with them (“No! It’s not his. No thanks, he doesn’t want it. No, no! No thank you.”), I was in a different part of town than I’d meant to be, holding a soggy green orb (ugh).
As I turned, right there was a table that I exactly need with a ‘Free Table’ sign on it. Whaah?! It felt like the cosmos was giving me a gift for my attempt to be helpful. That my being impulsively generous meant I was rewarded. Good things happen to kind people: there, I said it. It was a non-Pay It Forward payoff of dreams.
No, the cafe owner didn’t want the revolting tennis ball either.
“When you learn, teach; when you get, give” Maya Angelou, author and civil rights activist
Something we ate
I tried RedNote (Xiaohongshu) during the Americans’ recent so-called ‘TikTok Refugee’ moment. It’s great. I was immediately served a beautiful video teaching me how to make the traditional Chinese delicacy of Steamed Eggs. Three ingredients, three garnishes, 12 minutes. Ambrosial simplicity in a bowl.
Next day I’m running a Zoom call with nearly 100 people and share the Steamed Eggs video, praise the recipe, laud the concept and generally throw good vibes about the digital space. Eggs paid forward. Sharing for the sake of it. Love across the online void. (Okay that last sentence sounded like it should be behind a paywall but you get me.)
Improv works in the same way. Keep it simple, be generous, have your team’s backs. Every open-handed move we make on stage will be rewarded and reciprocated / echoed around the group. A rising tide lifts all boats. Try it next time you’re at work and make somebody’s day.
“Great opportunities to help others seldom come but small ones surround us every day” Sister Sally Koch, minister and musician
Something we remembered
There used to be a cool little coffee hut in Waterloo, remember? Just across from the Old Vic, it sold six flapjacks and 1,200 coffees every day (again, keep it simple, right?). It had a slogan on the wall: Pay It Sideways. You pulled your classic coffee stamp card our of your wallet to be stamped but! Once filled up, your stamped card didn’t buy you a coffee, no no. It bought the person behind you a coffee.
You had the delight of passing it to your queue buddy to see their face light up. Less pay it forward, where you might never know who will receive the card you’d had taped to the wall, more pay it sideways, where you get that community-centric lift right in front of your eyes.
It can be shy-making, sure.
It can feel a bit awkward.
It is a small gesture.
But boy oh boy, it feels good to change someone’s day for the better in real time and in a small yet significant way - or, indeed, to have your day changed (cut to a cafe owner fielding my effusive thanks for a one-legged corner table).
Pay it sideways today! Feel like a hero, spread the joy.
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