Does Schmoozing at Work Give You the Ick?

Ugh, small talk, right?! Compliments. Remembering the names of your manager’s kids. It’s so gross to butter up the boss.

But in the endless dance that is corporate dynamics, a strategic two-step can play a crucial role in giving your career path some added momentum.

Schmoozing, when not understood and embodied correctly, can backfire. Just ask Robin.

The term ‘schmoozing’ - meaning to flatter or manipulate; especially in professional settings - is inherently a negative one. Buttering someone up conjures images of awkward sycophancy or clumsy skullduggery.

With it, of course, is the understandable fear of being caught kissing a bigwig’s behind, making any witnesses smirk or eye-roll or both. Painful.

“Many know how to flatter, few know how to praise” Wendell Phillips, US orator, attorney, advocate

So let’s talk about ‘good’ schmoozing. The kind where no-one gets the ick and you and your ‘schmoozee’ find it enriching and productive. This is the one! It’s canny relationship-building. It’s knowing how to communicate and demonstrate your value effectively within the workplace.

If the Harvard Business Review advocates ‘managing up’, then how to unpick a powerful career-based attitude from a basic schmooze?

Well, a schmooze done right isn’t a schmooze. It isn't based in flattery. It’s nothing to be scared of. It’s forging genuine relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. And all you need to do is practise.

In performance terms, it’s a ‘show, don’t tell’ vibe. The schmoozer is in the moment and happy to be a cheerleader without embarrassment or shame. Crucially, it’s about the talent, the hard work, the cleverness of an idea of that other person. Authenticity transcends awkward.

It all comes down to conquering fear. As US philosopher George Addair said: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”. When applied to a relationship that has an inherent power imbalance, this makes sense. There’s bound to be some fear there.

Fear makes us shy, defensive, nervous and frankly, weird.

If you’re regularly beseiged by a schmoozing-at-work-related ick, the greatest gut repair is… ta-da! improvisation. The art of Yes, And and the tacit agreement that every interaction is underpinned by an ‘accept and build’ attitude. There’s less room for queasiness if everyone is trying to make the other person look good.

As soon as we lose the fear, there’s an ease and grace that means that it no longer feels ick to be delighted about how a sales forecast is going or to ask about Ashley’s chicken pox. It’s just… humaning.

Still feeling icky? Come to The IMPROV Breakfast and find out how improv can change all conversations from awkward to awesome.

#AppliedImprovisation #YesAnd #BusinessSkills #ProfessionalMobility #ManageUp #Schmoozing